Taking the Backseat

In the past year, I have come to realize that a person can have a lot of passions. They can be anything really, even out of this world. The thing with passion though is that it’s not something we’re born with. It’s something we come to discover on our own over time. What many (and I for a while) fail to understand is that they evolve. They have seasons and they come in different frequencies and timeframes. They arrive in numbers or slowly and every so often. Some of them we outgrow while others we have yet to discover. It’s normal and there’s nothing wrong with that.

You’ve probably noticed how the posts that came before this are decorated with the phrase “I’m back” and yet for some reason, I seem to not be as “back” as I hoped I would be. I haven’t been writing in this blog as often as I did when I first started it. I still love this space. Don’t get me wrong. But on some days, I wondered if it’s because I no longer have that spark. 

Is this goodbye?

I was afraid to hear the answer because this blog has been my baby, my confidante and my little space on the internet. In fact, it led me to places, to people and to experiences that I wouldn’t otherwise encounter. I can’t even begin to imagine how different my life would have been if not for it. Giving it up would be like throwing away something precious like a box of handwritten letters and really it’s not something I wish to move on from, let alone dispose. So like those mementos, I tucked it in quietly, nice and snug, for the time being.

So what happened? 

A lot. That’s as honest as I can get.

The first culprit would easily be my broken computer and to some extent it was a blessing in disguise. Time off from a keyboard allowed me to reunite with my other passions and it ultimately made me discover a few new ones. I still wrote a lot of poetry and prose but I chose not to share them here just yet. (My cellphone and notebooks will attest to this.) As to why, I guess I can be a little selfish with my writing. I like to keep them to myself for a while before I let others take a peek. (That and I can’t exactly blog from my phone given this platform’s device requirements.)

Second, an opportunity came and I got to work with someone I’ve idolized for years. I got to do things that “also” put my soul on fire just as much as this space does.

In short, life happened and this blog had to take the backseat.

It bothered me then that I've somehow put this blog on pause but I’m now realizing that it’s okay. I used to look at this space and miss it so much. But really, it’s still here. It has been all along and for that I am truly grateful. It’s like “that” high school friend. The one who you don’t see or talk to as often but whenever you do get hold of each other, it’s as if nothing has changed one bit.

Will I be back?

I can’t say soon but one thing’s sure. This blog is going to stay.

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Photo by Matt Safian via unsplash