Food for Thought: Bullying. What Gives?

Today I decided to sway from the usual happy sappy tone of my blog posts and talk about something deeper and something that has bugged me to no end at the moment. Bullying. It’s nothing new. It has in fact been present for so long that you’ll definitely find a similar post like this elsewhere in the cyber-universe. We say it’s bad and it ought to be stopped but then it has only grown and evolved into various forms. In fact, it may have blown into proportions. Take cyber bullying for example. It is everywhere and worse it mostly stays anonymous.

But seriously, what brought this about? There are three things to be exact. One, I recently discovered that a friend of mine has been bullied to some extent but admiringly I’ve seen that it has made her stronger. Second, there was this news a few days ago about a kid who apparently got oppressed and pushed into a pool where he drowned. I don’t know all the facts about it but the thought itself bothers me. Lastly, I may have just gotten myself a dose of some classic flicks of the genre. Do Mean Girls and Wild Child ring a bell? Regina George and Poppy Moore, anyone? But hey, Poppy wasn’t the mean machine in the plot. FYI, it was Harriet Bentley just in case you don’t know.

Now let us get back on point. Why is bullying so rampant nowadays? Is it way easier to hate than to love? Is it so effortless to shed tears than to stretch your lips and smile? Is it so hard to care and understand? What do you get in bullying anyway? Does it make you happy and fulfilled? Honestly though what gives?

It baffles me why people would prefer to do such things. I must admit that I myself have had childish, selfish and naïve moments in my life especially during my teenage years. Admit it. We all have said not so good things about other people at some point in our lives. It’s nothing to be proud of actually and one has to learn from it. Think about it. If people get to wear someone else’s shoes for a day, imagine how much better the world could be. All it takes is an ounce of understanding. Be kinder even if others aren’t. If you have nothing good to say about others then learn how to shut up. There are better ways to tell someone the things they may have to improve at other than gossiping, backbiting, fabricating lies, anonymous and harsh tweets and questions on Ask.fm and Spring.me. 

Now, what happens when you’re the victim of the bullying? Do you fight back? Yes you do but not in the way that those bullies want you to retaliate. You do not want this vicious cycle to go on and on. Smile and ask them why they’re doing it. Have they been bullied too? Be nice because at the end of the day kindness seeps and spills over. This may not be the easy route and it can feel fulfilling to punch or slap somebody who’s been all Regina George on you but what good would that do right? You’ll end up like them too. Would you want that? No. 

So how do you handle all the anger, frustration and negative feelings welling up inside of you? I personally suggest a couple of things. 

ONE: WRITE POETRY OR JUST WRITE IN GENERAL. It doesn't matter if you’re good with word play or rhymes. Just go with the flow. You don’t even have to publish it anywhere. Whenever I feel down and really bad, I write it down on paper, go out into our garden and burn it. It’s like letting out your negative emotions and burning them away into ashes. It’s kind of symbolic. Let it out, learn from it and move on. Trust me, it feels good.

TWO: SHAKE IT OFF. Yes, ala Taylor Swift! Not everyone will like you and not everyone will treat you nice no matter what you do. Shake all those bad vibes away and live your life. There’s more to life than living based on what other people think and do to you. Remember: You’re rubber they’re glue. Anything bad they say or do bounce off from you and stick right back at them.

THREE: CONFIDE IN SOMEONE. It can be your sibling, a best friend, your parents or anyone you trust and feel comfortable with. Just a tip: talk more about how you feel and avoid saying cruel things about your bullies (even if they may be true). Trash talking and backbiting someone will only worsen the situation and continue the cycle. If the terrorizing has gone to a really bad extent then this is something that you should really tell someone. And no, that doesn’t mean that you’re a scaredy-cat. It’s actually a brave thing to do.

FOUR: CONNECT WITH PEOPLE WHO HAVE SHARED THE SAME EXPERIENCE. Do you know someone who has been bullied before? It doesn't even have to be a personal one-on-one talk. I’m sure there are a lot of forums and groups in the internet where you can seek support and advice from. A therapist helps too and if you're not comfortable to see one in person, online therapy and counseling is something you might want to consider. You can also read posts, articles or even watch videos about it. I suggest this one by YouTuber Ryan Higa: Unpopular Opinion, Cyber Bullying.

FIVE: BELT OUT A SONG. Go on a full karaoke spree with friends. Sing your heart out in your room (much to your sibling’s dismay). Do a mini concert with your shower-head. What if you’re voice isn’t Grammy material? Who cares? As Tay-Tay said… “I bet you got pushed around. Somebody made you cold but the cycle ends right now ‘cause you can't lead me down that road and you don't know, what you don't know...” Belt this song out and you’d be feeling good in no time. (I’m a Swiftie if that isn't obvious yet. *wink*)

So what are your thoughts on bullying? Have you been bullied before? Share your personal tips!

[Creative Commons Images via gratisography.com and unsplash.com.]