Eventually, I found myself writing about my feelings (and a few interests thrown into the mix) thus the birth of two short-lived series called Thoughtful Thursday and Food for Thought. If you've been here long enough, you might have noticed how pensive and sometimes melancholic some of them were. You see, I like talking to myself. There were posts that served as pep talks (mostly for me) to coax myself out of a depression from being bullied, to remind myself that oblivion is not all dreary, to remember that although the white keys in a piano are happiness and the black ones are sorrow the dark keys make music too, to acknowledge that running away isn't all cowardly and to admit that confusion happens to the best of us.
Looking back, I realized how this little space on the internet managed to capture a journey. My journey. I wasn't happy back then or at least not as happy as I wanted to be. There were nightmares that came to life like losing my dad and realizing I'll never get that "father and daughter dance" I've always dreamt about. There were others more but that's a story for another day. I've moved on from hurt feelings and no longer in nightmares. I'm happier. Much happier that in fact, I find it particularly hard to write sad stories and poetry now (save for the occasional senti and/or rainy days). I still try every once in a while (this for instance) but I no longer feel the heaviness ebb from me the way it used to. Finally.
If anything, this blog was like a friend. I was able to convey a string of words that captured what I truly felt. You see, I'm quite the softy. I don't know why my eyes like to pretend they're waterfalls and spit tears like there's no tomorrow. I always end up bawling mid-sentence so it's safe to say I express myself better in writing. I wrote in this blog. I wrote to this friend who saw me both at my worst and my best (so far).
Now I don't know where this post is headed. Honestly, I was intending for it to be a lighthearted entry but maybe I missed this format of casually talking and diving deep into pensiveness. Oops, word vomit! But no, we're still not going down the Cady Heron/Regina George highway. Nu-uh because we don't roll like that.
So before this becomes too mushy to handle, let's give that carefree word vomit entry another try. Here goes nothing...
ONE I overate sweets today. But don't blog birthdays deserve all that sugar?
TWO Someone please remind me to exercise.
THREE Should I start watching "Weightlifting Fairy" for #fitspiration?
FOUR Speaking of which, I've rekindled my Kdrama obsession! Apparently, I never outgrew it. College and adulting thereafter got in the way but I'm back on track. LOL.
FIVE But wait, I'm on a forced TV show diet! Binge watching for days on end will wreak havoc on your body clock.
SIX I binge watched Legend of the Blue Sea, Descendants of the Sun. Sungkyunkwan Scandal and Love in the Moonlight which explains why I looked like a zombie from February til mid-March.
SEVEN Because how can you say no to a great story, amazing cinematography and the close to perfection musical scoring? And need I mention the "oppas"? Omo!
EIGHT In terms of looking like a zombie from the Walking Dead, all's better now. I've been sleeping early and the body clock's back on track!
NINE But I'm typing this in at 1:00 am so... *faceplam* Nice try Anne.
TEN I should probably go to sleep?
ELEVEN Hellooo! I did hit the sack last night (erm... dawn) which makes this a belated blogversary post. How this started deep in thought and ended up sounding like a crazy Kdrama fan still baffles me. Ah, noisy brain! I'm ending this babble now before it gets painfully long. Toodles!